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Nothing excites me anymore,
not even you.
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       "You shouldn't have fallen for him."
       "He's a douchebag, get over him."
       "Look at the way he treats you, do you think he's worth it?"
       "He doesn't deserve your LOVE, your TRUST."
       "There are plenty of fishes in the sea, darling."
       "It's not about the love you had, it's about enduring the pains."
       "It might be your happy ending, it might also be your worse nightmare."


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Snot

Hey. Guess I haven't been posting things lately. Actually, it has been a long time, isn't it? Anyway, school holiday is over and I ain't feeling a thing. Entahlah, seems like tak sedih je cuti habis though homework berlambak tak siap and I should panic by now but you know what, I ain't giving a damn because...entah! Macam dah penat je nak stress pasal sekolah. Eh wait, results exam tak keluar lagi. ACANO?! Ah. Apa orang putih kata tu, "let bygones be bygones"? Haaa. So let's just not overthink about bad exam results but actually I am overthinking and now I'm panicking like mada****** ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay. Nak cakap tu je. Stress ni kalau disimpan lama-lama akan jadi macam bom atom yang bakal meletup bila-bila masa je. So nak cakap kat sini, stress tu sebenarnya bagus. Sebab it shows that you actually cared about something or someone. Daripada terlebih care tu la tercetusnya stress ni. Hah. Penat aku type. Dah. Mekasih baca. Muah muah. Assalamualaikum. Eh lupa nak cakap ni, but be sure to handle your stress well because kalau stress ni ditangani dengan wrong ideas, things will mess up. K? Love yaa.



*Birthday dah dekat. Jangan lupa wish 12/6 ni ;P

Year of memories

Since everyone is talking about new year, then I'll post something about it. And I haven't post something in a long time. So here it goes.

2012. A year full of laughter, tears, joy, memories. 2012, year of memories. I've been loving 2012. Met new people. Some left, some stayed. I don't have much to say. I'm just wishing you guys a happy new year. May we be a better person in the future.

2012, year of craps. People still like Justin Bieber. KILL MEEEHHHH!!! But it's their way of living. I just let them be. I can't force them. And I'm still a mess. I need to change as the number of year keeps on changing, too.

So here are some of my recycled new year resolutions:

• Jaga kesihatan. Keep body fit, like Korean celebrities. (lol)
• Change my attitude, don't be all crappy.
• Belajar masak. Mak mertua mesti nak menantu pandai masak. (extra lol)
• Have self confidence. Stand out. Keluar dari kepompong.
• Tu je kot....

So I guess it wasn't much. What are your new year resolutions? :-)

Faith

Once upon a time, there was this one girl. She fell in love with a douchebag. So one day the douchebag dumped her. Her heart shattered. The end.

Have you ever felt the feeling of being left by the ones you loved the most? It doesn't matter whether he's a lover or a friend or probably a sister or brother or whoever you want. So tell me how does it feels like? Does it kill inside? Or maybe you've gone insane and you started to annoy other people and you started to feel distance between other people and finally you're all alone, with no one there for you. Well I've actually been in that kind of situation and eventually, it sucks. I lost my love and it kills me slowly inside. But then I found this great guy, he's brought sunshine in my world. Thank you, b :)

You see, when you started to really care about someone, you'll be hoping that he'd stay with you through thick and thin. Whatever you do, it reminds you about that one special person. But you know what sucks? Hoes.

When you wake up, the first thing you could think of is, "Is it Saturday?" or maybe "Oh God it's Monday today's gonna be hectic" bla bla bla and bla. Well I'm getting tired of writing about my life since nobody's been giving shit about it. But still I'm gonna write about me muahahaha. So recently my boy had been into an accident and he broke his hand. Ouch. A day I waited for his text, but no there is none text I received from him. So I told myself it's okay, he need his own time too. Until midnight, I received a call. It was an unknown number so I decided not to pick up the call. Then a text come in, saying it's him, I'm in the hospital and I'll be having an operation next morning. I was freaking out and tears come bursting out of my eyes. So he calms be down saying that he's okay. And yesterday I went to see him but no, he's not come out of the O.R yet. But there was his father, luckily.

Throughout my life, I've never ever felt this way before, the feeling of losing someone you really care about. But I just had to keep myself calm cause his hand was the only part of his body that was injured and I was the one who's been over-thinking about things like the operation didn't go well and he'd be dead. Fml. Alhamdulillah, everything went fine and I got to hear his voice again.

Dear S, I just want you to know that I'll always be by your side. And I love you ♥

Stop. Rewind. Play

Hey. So I guess agak lama aku tak publish any post. So here it goes. I broke up with him. Guess I'm a jerk, no? Aku yang mulakan, tapi last-last aku yang menyesal. Pathetic. Aku tak suka panggil dia ex aku. I'd rather call him my past. Why? Sebab panggilan ex tu seems harsh to me. We actually broke up like almost two weeks ago. Honestly, aku tak pernah rasa macam ni. Like, the feeling of regret. I always say to myself not to ever regret even though you did something regrettable. Tiap-tiap malam, I cried thinking about him. Yesterday supposed to be our 7th month being together. But I just have to cut the being together part because we're no longer together.Frankly, the joy of our love story is unexplainnable. It's just...tremendous! Everything went right. Nothing was wrong. The warmth, the laughter, the sorrow, everything was beautiful. I never wanted to end our relationship. But you gave me hope. The hope that kept me moving on without looking back.

Mohd. Khamarol bin Mazlan is the person who I would want to spend my life with. I wish to wake up and see him beside me. I wish to have you with me forever. Khamarol, you are the person who had bring joy to me. Aku teringat masa aku kena buat this one senam robik show kat satu game rugby. Masa tu baru kenal-kenal je dengan dia. Aku duduk sebelah kawan aku. He took the seat behind me in the bus. He kept on teasing me, pushing my seat and kept on calling me. Tak sekali pun aku toleh kat dia. Malu sebenarnya! Masa first time jumpa, masing-masing jadi malu-malu kucing. Almaklumlah baru bercinta. Hehehe. We didn't talk much. Awkward gila kot! Tapi makin lama aku pandang muka dia, makin aku rasa secure. I'll never let you go no matter what happen. Itu yang aku monolog every time I look at him. He calms me. And I just miss his calmness. Oh how I wish I could turn back time.

So there it goes. I couldn't do nothing more. I can barely breathe. And so I wish I could have a second chance to make things right. But I believe there is hope. The last text that I got from me had given me strength to keep believing. Arigatou, Khamarol for leaving me such an unforgettable story. May you live happily till the day we meet again.

Kali kedua

Love me like you never did before.

Even if one day we'll be parted off far from each other, I always knew that you would stay with me through thick and thin because I believe our love is strong enough to overcome whatever obstacles that came.

Have you ever get the feeling of falling in love for the second time with the same person? It ain't the mutual feeling which you have felt before. Slightly, it's different.

This is for those lovers.

When you first met that one person, in a million years, you wouldn't have thought that he was the one. What? Him? I wouldn't fall for him. It's just impossible. That's what you thought. But people change. As time pass by, the feeling kept on growing until one day it came to a special feeling. One that you can't deny. Love. It actually didn't stop there. You approached him. Then he starts liking you. So from that you both became lovers. And so...

• phone is a must
• you smile everytime you got a text message from him
• butterflies in the tummy

I guess every lover had experienced these things.

    But that was for the first time. What about the second time?

Ahh, love. A beautiful feeling full of senses. Months later, for certain person, you'll feel bored with your partner. Why did this happen? There may be some explanation.

• Everyday is the same, like a routine. Morning texts, before-bed texts. It's just too plain.
• You've got problem with yourself. You're no longer interested in your partner and you found someone more attractive. You could just rot in hell.
• Partner is neglecting you. You should that precautions before tons of tears dropped.

Having a love life is hard. You argue much. Things are a lot more complicated than expected. Breaking up is an option. But if you end up committing suicide, don't do it. Or, you could fall in love again. Act like you never felt that way. Pretend like it's the first time you've ever fall for that person. Write poems, compose a song, anything you could thought of. Make it easy but meaningful, you'll learn something.

All along I kept my heart close. I threw the keys far away. How did you found them, those keys? I now realize it's you who my heart chose. It were never wrong. You changed everything, my whole world. Don't leave me drowning. Hold me tight, don't let me go. 

Forever yours,

Love.